Hello beautiful people, THANK GOD it’s FRIDAY!!! It’s been a rather hectic week, I had an exam to write hence my absence last week (another coming up next week). I would like to start by appreciating my friend Esther for the feature on her last post read here. This post is dedicated to you Esther (i’m not all politics :D) and to everyone who noticed my absence last week (Lmaooo I can see eyes rolling; I know you missed me).
Today’s gist! I have tried to refrain from commenting on the issue of people (especially men) and infidelity in relationships/marriage simply because I feel the issue has been really overemphasized over time. I feel the question “WHY DO MEN CHEAT?” is now somewhat similar to the question “WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?” (when I was being asked in nursery and primary school). But in my heart and soul I felt this was worth breaking my restraints for.
I decided to turn on the car stereo on my way home from work a few days back and there was this “relationship” show on. Listeners with relationship issues to share or seek solutions to called in or sent messages.
The first call I listened to was from a married man, he said he had been married for about four years and he has been cheating on his wife since the first year of their marriage and that he’s aware its wrong (oh yes he actually called to report himself). He went on to say that it wasn’t technically his fault. Apparently in the first year of their marriage, the girl (who happens to be their neighbour) came on to him (yes, she did know he was married; I shall address this other issue some other time) and he couldn’t resist the temptation. He concluded by saying that his wife knew about it and she knows “THAT’S HOW MEN ARE” and she has been hoping he’ll CHANGE and as such she hasn’t taken any DRASTIC measures.
The second caller was a lady who I termed to be quite very stupid (forgive my language). According to her, after dating the guy for about four years, he asked her to get pregnant for him before he could marry her, out of love stupidity she agreed. After she got pregnant he left her for someone else, and she didn’t hear from him again. She had the child and on the child’s second birthday, he came back begging. My question is “where he go since?” After 2years and 8 or 9months??? She concluded by saying she thinks he has CHANGED and as such she’s considering taking him back.
The third call was from a woman who said she had been married for 35years (since 1979) and her husband had been promiscuous one time or the other but she had always looked the other way because she knows “MEN ARE BOUND TO CHEAT”. But then he started dating their daughter’s friend, she then had to confront him, but he still didn’t stop.
I listened in till the end of the show and all through, only one guy called in to share a situation with his ex girlfriend. It’s either men weren’t interested in pouring out their issues on air or women aren’t cheating on their men (which is an absolute lie by the way, so I’m picking the first option). The movement and awareness against men cheating has gained even more voice than the fight against HIV/AIDS and EVD combined and yet……
After a little pondering, I coined a conclusion in my head; MEN won’t change or have refused to change because of WOMEN. Yes WOMEN. In recent times, anywhere infidelity on the part of men is mentioned, you hear women go “Na so them be” or “Men are meant to cheat” or “it’s in their DNA” or “If your man doesn’t cheat, then he’s not a man”. The same women will still come and be crying up and down and acting all suicidal when they catch their men in the act; what are the tears for biko???
Women have succeeded in making men some sort of untouchable lot that should get away with anything when it comes to infidelity (Go out there and cheat kinda situation). Biko where is it stated in your bible that men are meant to cheat? (sha don’t quote old testament for me except you are in 2014 BC) or has a gene that codes for infidelity been discovered??? Why have we come to accept men as cheats?
The fact that we have come to the “All men should be cheats” conclusion has over time fueled their tendency to become cheats and as such almost ruined any chances of infidelity phasing out of relationships/marriages and having an infidelity free generation. We need an ideology shift!!!!!
To be continued…..
Watch this space tomorrow… Something new coming your way 😀
DON’T FORGET TO DROP YOUR COMMENTS…
UNTIL NEXT TIME… INFIDELITY = HIV/AIDS LMAOOOO
XOXO….
My thoughts to screen Blog 
We really do need an ideology shift!!!
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Idealogy shift it is
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Women have always seen men as messiahs, lords, breadwinners, without which they are nothing. Look at our society in general, and you will see that women are doing very little or nothing to make us not see them as lower species. Otherwise, how do you explain the desperation for marriage, or the women that get married and fall back as fulltime nannies, abandoning their degrees on the dictate of their husbands. How about their carriage, once you have a car, you can almost date two sisters, side by side, and sleep with their friends afterwards.
Every woman or girlfriend should have zero tolerance for cheating, except ofcourse you plan on doing it yourself. I had this session with my friend and his girlfriend some days back and her opinion was, ‘all guys cheat, she won’t bother checking his phone and he shouldn’t check hers’, that way, they are both fine. Haven’t you heard stories from your banker friends of how sleep with girls in their thousands just because of the title ‘banker’. What about that competition on social media, where girls rush to outshine their rivals that i got the iPhone 6 before you. Ofcourse from sleeping with married men, yahoo boys and even dwarfs.
My point is, this issue should no longer be addressed from the men’s perspective, it should rather be from the women’s, reminding them of the caricature they’ve made of themselves.
Check, when was the last time you jumped into a married man’s car because the sun was too hot or that you need some new hair extentions and you wouldn’t mind doing a few men. You maybe sleeping with your future husband’s uncle. Earn your pay. Get what you can afford. Wives, when was the last time you put up some real front, taking good care of your husband, looking very smart, neat and confidant at the same time. Earn some pay, pick his calls, check his messages, that’s your jurisdiction.
Abeg, am out.
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You literally took the words off my next post. Albeit i’ll still be addressing this next week.
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I totally agree with Mikktush!! We v to stop addressing infidelity from the men’s perspective… We women have done enough aiding n abetting to last a lifetime for them… His mother pampered him to death, n he got away with every n anything, his sisters treated him like a demi god, when he finally starts dating, of course, he cheats n his babe doesn’t v anything to say… These days when our mothers are discussing our relationships, you’ll hear, “just leave am o, don’t fight with him when he cheats, it’s his way of letting out stress” (my mother dare not say that to me o cos we go fight). but Why TF does he need to cheat to let out stress, y not get into a boxing ring n let it all out?
Now it’s no longer “Y did the chicken cross the road?” it’s sth else
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Ame it seems like I am the only guy here
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Lol, no you aren’t
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Ha! My first time dropping a comment here! Anyways. Nice job with the blog. I enjoyed reading this and so I thought i should comment. Men will always look for a reason to justify cheating and truth is most women give them these reasons. I’m not saying it’s right for men to cheat but I’m saying some women makes it look like it’s acceptable.
Men on the other hand have to reaslise they aren’t animals. Heck! Some animals are even known to associate with a life long partner. If the wife is doing something wrong tell her till she corrects it. Tame your own hungry lions too. Marriage is like fault management anyways so learn to adàpt to the flaws of the other half for the place your loins burrows is a flaw in the disguise of perfectioñ. I rise! (Ame this is where you scream “Court!” 😁)
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If I start brkin down my opinion on dis u shall need to start a blog for me bcz I will not jst b able. We all know d chicken crossed d road to get to d other side bt even d gods don’t knw y ppl cheat. Especially those in luving relationships. d summary is its what u allow dat will continue. If u don’t condone Somthing it has no business within 100miles of u. Nice post sis.
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Lemme stat by commending the writer on this ‘wonderful’ write up and wish her all the best in all her exams (past and future). I have been a silent reader of her posts but I choose to comment on this ‘sensitive’ topic. 1st ques… Who do men with? Ans… Women (atleast most men do). I am a guy so I m talking from direct nd indirect experiences when I say dis…. Most girls dat cheat with men usually initiate the ‘flirting process’ especially when dey knw u r in a relationship or married cuz they see u as stable and u can give dem that sense of security they so desparately desire.
I think the word ‘cheating’ is being misused because I feel ‘if a guy has sex with a girl he’s not dating or married to…’ (In coloquial terms…cheating) its more like being disloyal to ur partner. Unless otherwise agreed upon by both parties, that they are dating or married exclusively, I think nobody should feel aggrieved if 1 or both parties seek satisfaction and comfort in someone else’s arms or bosom, rather than assume that ”because its the ‘modern’ norm, guys or girls should b faithful in a ‘not properly’ defined relationship or marriage.”
Just as women were designed by God 2 menstruate, so did God design man to b Polygamous and as such, if a man decides to be with a single woman, he shouldn’t be classified as different from the guy that decides 2 have more dan 1 woman at a particular time. Women should please accept men are meant to have more than 1 female partner and deal with it, cos this issue has been before us and will be well after us. I rest my case. And this is my own personal opinion which I m entitled to and decided to share. Thanks
Please excuse the Typos (if any…..)
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Everything I want to say have been said, no need for repitition.
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Amaka!!!!! You stalked me here abi?
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Nice write up! Fantastic comments! Seems like ‘cheating’ is embedded in the masculine gene. Only that some folks could tame theirs while others let nature take its full course. Though it isn’t restricted to the masculine gender…and it could be propelled by several factors. I rest my case here pending when the continuum of the next post surfaces…
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Ride on sister. You ve made some good point there
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[…] WHY DO MEN CHEAT? VS WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? […]
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