Posts Tagged ‘Lagos’




Happy New Month people!!!! Welcome to the month of March, I trust you all had a blissful February; not to worry March promises to be better. I hope everyone is enjoying what’s left of their weekend, for behold Monday falls upon us tomorrow. I wouldn’t even classify Saturday as part of my weekend for the fact that I had to be in school yesterday. And as a result of the environmental sanitation exercise, the traffic to and fro was hell and yes I was very late for my class. In other news, the lecturer was this very very very hot and brainy young doctor. If I were to guess I would say she should be in her early 30’s. I just found a new motivation to get my PhD after this (getting my PhD before I’m 28 won’t be such a bad idea *flips brain*). Back to my LASTMA debacle, I’m still quite furious (well, a little less furious than I was on Wednesday). If you still haven’t read the first part of this post you aren’t too late. Click here.

You know how we lower our expectations from/of people so we don’t end up getting disappointed and just when we finally have a reason to lift our expectations, we get disappointed anyway. This is one of the reasons I was really pissed! I always have an absolute worst case scenario for every single situation (my friends call me a psycho for this sha; it can be really bad sometimes). The reason is just so I am prepared for whatever happens in the end. Unfortunately in this case I just never imagined anyone could be so wicked! My anger was for the fact that at first I was really happy to know we still had a few good LASTMA officers like him despite everything we hear about them, but in the end he proved himself to be the absolute worst! Nothing kills me more than getting disappointed like that.

Another infuriating fact I pulled from that experience was that most of our traffic control, vehicle inspection and security operatives in this country might just be the utter vilest! I’ve heard of so many cases where the complainant ends up becoming the culprit just because the officers need someone to take the fall/ are too lazy to carry out their duties/ just need to fill their pockets. The LASTMA officer said “Madam see ehn, ordinarily if it was another officer he would have directed you to pass one way, so that they will book you and you’ll pay #25,000. I’m just doing it for you because you looked responsible”. His statement has been a major reason for concern ever since. What are we to make of the fact that officers are willing to “lead you in the wrong path” just so they can fill their pockets?

This goes to show that just like our politicians, most of our security operatives are just after filling their pockets! They barely care for/about the people they have either sworn to serve or protect. Gabriel said on the previous post that letting the officer in was a risky move seeing as he could have had a weapon on him; my question is was I supposed to consider this being that I was dealing with “an officer”? Under normal circumstances the answer would be no, but seeing how everything turned out I probably should have had that in mind. Although I was very relieved and thus felt safer when I saw the officer at first, in the end I learnt that the same officers ought to be one of the problems I should be shielding myself from.

If the politicians only care about amassing wealth and the security operatives’ mostly care about filling their pockets, where does that leave me the ordinary citizen? Where do I run in time of trouble?

P.S: I already have Esther and Ifueko on the squad to find that officer: more recruits are welcomed!





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I don’t think I’ve been this pissed in a very long while. I mean nothing on earth pisses me off more than dishonest, selfish, self-centered (and many other adjectives my brain can’t express presently) people. One thing I have always been very careful about is falling on the wrong side of the law; why? Most, if not all security, traffic control, vehicle inspection officers in this country are nothing to write home about!
Today (25-02-2015) started off pretty well, I was still giddy over FCBarcelona’s win yesterday and it also happens to be a special someone’s birthday. I left home to the Island to run an errand for my Mum even though I was supposed to be in school. After my errand, I decided to see Esther since I was just a stone throw from her office (make that two stone throws). Seeing as I wasn’t very used to driving on the Island I was very cautious of every turn and bend I took, but unfortunately, I missed a turn. I went forward anyway because I was sure there was another exit although I wasn’t sure of how I was to get there. I got to a bus stop and decided to ask a bus conductor I saw, just as he was about giving me directions, I saw a LASTMA officer just in front. I thought to myself “Thank God o! At least I won’t get missing”.  I moved forward a bit and beckoned on him to come. He approached me, I greeted him and told him where I was trying to get to. He then said “Ah, madam you might get confused o, let me just follow you”. 
I was very surprised he agreed to follow me, I kept thinking “So there are still good LASTMA officers like this, perhaps I have always been too quick to draw my conclusions about them”. He then said it was obvious I didn’t know the island too well. I told him I hardly had any business there, that it was mainly my mother’s office in Ikoyi that usually brought me down there. He asked if I was in the military or paramilitary because of the cap I had on the dashboard. I told him it was my mums’ and we continued our journey. When we finally got somewhere I was familiar with I asked him if he was going to the mainland too seeing as we had gone quite a distance from where i met him. He said he wasn’t, and that we were approaching the exact place I picked him. I thought to myself “This guy has been really helpful, I should just squeeze out #500 from my empty wallet for his effort”. I decided I would give him #500 when we reached his stop. When we got forward I realized we were just across the road from where I met him. “Ha ok! You don’t even need to enter a bus back” I said. He said “No o, I’ll just cross and climb down that bridge”.
He got out, and then I wound down the car window and started my thank you speech (at that point I was much more than grateful). I gave him the #500 from my almost empty wallet, and he said “No o Madam ah no”. “Oh wow” was my next thought, he didn’t even want money. I began to tell him how much I appreciated what he had done, how he had basically saved my life and how he should just take it as a token. Then the bomb dropped “Madam abeg add something join e too small” was the next thing he said. WHAT???? Now that I’m revisiting the incident, perhaps that would have been a good time to zoom off. I opened my bag and found a #200 note lying there; I brought it out and gave it to him. He didn’t take it; instead he got back into the car. He started this speech of how he’ll ordinarily collect #5000 and that what he has just done for me, no other officer would do it. At this point I was just cursing myself inside for missing that turn. The he said “Madam see ehn, ordinarily if it was another officer he would have directed you to pass one way, so that they will book you and you’ll pay #25,000. I’m just doing it for you because you looked responsible”. WOW!! So asking for directions is now a crime? So once I don’t know my way I have to pay the nearest LASTMA guy #5,000 for directions? I was quite dumbfounded. I dug out another #500 note from my bag and gave him #1,000 (at that point all I wanted was for him to get the hell out of my car, before I pulled out a sharp object). He still refused the money and said “Madam see now, my oga is already calling me, if I don’t go back with something for all of them he will not find it funny. Just make it #3,000; I have more than #1,000 in my pocket. This #1,000 will not go anywhere o. Na help I just say make I help you o”.
I tried explaining to him how I didn’t have any more money while begging him to accept my own hard-earned money that he hadn’t worked for. I kept wondering how I had gone from the girl who was about to give out #500 out of the goodness of her heart, to the girl who was begging the same person to accept #1000. Since he still refused, I decided to add the #200, he still refused and asked me to add the #100 he saw dangling out of my bag. I finally gave him #1,300 before he got himself out of the car. While he was walking away, I thought to myself, if you don’t leave this guy with a piece of your mind, you’ll regret it. I horned and beckoned on him to come. First, I made sure the car was locked then I wound down and said “I hope you know you won’t use that money for anything tangible”. While he tried to process, I zoomed off.
I basically drove in beast mode all through the rest of the journey, pouring my anger on every road user that crossed my path. I decided to stop at the supermarket to shop for a few things hoping that would ease off the anger. Well…. It did, until I saw another LASTMA officer on my way (P.S: I almost ran him over). Right now my keyboard is paying the price.

Lagos State’s Horn Free Day

Posted: October 16, 2014 by myTHOUGHTStoSCREEN in NIGERIA
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Hello beautiful people, it’s another beautiful Thursday, to the Lagosians Happy “Horn free day” in arrears. I was on my way to work on Monday when I heard that October 15th has been declared “Horn free day” in Lagos, “this jobless people have returned again” that was my first thought. How will that even be possible in Lagos of all places? What’s the essence? Alas I can tell you if I had counted the number of “LASTMA boys” that lined the roads i plied yesterday, they would have been over a hundred, all wearing horn free day reflective jackets. The exercise was quite serious unlike I had assumed.

The essence of this exercise according to the state’s governor is to “persuade citizens that THERE IS A BETTER WAY TO LIVE than indulging in noise pollution which has been found to be harmful to their HEALTH“. I got a whole lot from the state governor’s speech regarding the horn free day, but I’ll discuss those that are quite dear to my heart.

My own understanding from the speech he gave regarding the exercise is that, horns contribute a huge deal to noise pollution in the state, which I really do agree with. But, the issue here is before he decided on the horn free day exercise; did he stop to ask himself and his able advisers why lagosians use their horns so much? If you drive on the mainland then I’m sure you can attest to the fact that if the use of car horns were to be proportional to the recklessness of danfo drivers, truck drivers and even the drivers of BRT buses then we will all be deaf! With the way these danfo drivers go about their driving even with them Fashola’s lastma boys present, if you were to not use your horn for a day I promise you’ll go home with half your car. Probably sensitizing them danfo, truck and BRT drivers should have been the first step.

If you’ve ever been around Oshodi, Iyanaipaja or Ketu bus stops and a load of other bus stops in the Lagos metropolis then I’m sure you can also attest to the fact that if you stand in any of those bus stops for more than 10 minutes, you are likely to go deaf by the 11th minute, every one who sells at those bus stops the woman sells bathroom slippers inclusive has a megaphone. The worst of them all are those that sell herbal drugs and supplements! GOKO cleanser the perfect example! Theirs isn’t just about the deafening noise they make in the name of adverts but the fact that the adverts are quite offensive (in my own opinion). Perhaps the governor should have put measures in place to stop this first.

Again I feel if indeed the governor is concerned about my health, maybe his first point of call should have been the huge potholes I have to deal with to get to my humble abode. I get home with backache, headache, and a host of “other aches” every day I decide to opt for public transport. All thanks to the fact that to avoid the crazy traffic caused by the fat potholes on the main route, they have to use freer alternate routes that have been abandoned for ages and have even fatter potholes. Then the days you then decide to drive you spend not less than 3hours on a journey that will normally take less than an hour all thanks to the fat potholes. A regular 8am to 5pm worker in Lagos gets no more than 5 to 6 hours of sleep at night, because they have to beat the traffic congestion. Traffic congestion mainly caused by pot holes and our lawless danfo drivers. I’m sure getting more sleep will definitely improve our health and is sure “a better way to live”. I’m also sure filling those potholes and sensitizing then danfo drivers and other road users will go a long way in “improving our health” that he seems quite concerned about.

I am very positive our jaws will drop if we get to know how much was earmarked for this “Horn free day” project. Dear Uncle Fashola please I think projects/exercises like “Pothole Free day” or “Fill A Pothole day” maybe even “Flog a lawless danfo driver day” will be of more benefit to Lagosians. Instead of creating another avenue for your Lastma boys to extort money from people who are just trying to get by.