Posts Tagged ‘Wooing’

THE TOASTING (WOOING) MANIFESTO

Posted: February 13, 2015 by myTHOUGHTStoSCREEN in POLITICS, RANDOM FACTS, RANDOM THOUGHTS, RELATIONSHIPS
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Hello Hello Hello lovelies, TGIF!!!!!! Mehn after the week I had, I have all the right in the world to scream TGIF as much as I want. This week was damn too hectic!!!! I think I even lost a few pounds despite all the junk I consumed. Happy Valentine’s Day in advance people. It is the season of love indeed, and for us Nigerians, the season of love, elections, manifestos, promises, slandering and so on. Just when I was rejoicing that my radio, television, social media and papers will finally be free of campaign adverts boom! INEC decided to move the elections and let people have valentines. Oh well, plans still haven’t changed, elections or no elections, valentines or no valentines I shall sleep, eat and watch movies come 14th February.

Speaking of election manifestos and promises, I never knew it affected toasting (wooing) patterns o. Lemme gist you guys….

Yesterday while I was going about my registration in school, cursing the scorching sun as I walked to the bank, someone tapped me from behind. At first I felt it was someone passing through the whole registration wahala like I was, he said “Please excuse me my name is Dr. XXXX I’ve been trying to get your attention from behind” I waited for him to ask a question or say something else. Well, he didn’t, so I continued my journey without a word (the sun was scorching mehnnn), he followed behind and said he was also headed to the bank, I still didn’t answer. We got to the bank and the security guard asked if we were together, I said no and walked in, and then I heard him reply “we are partially together”. Lmaoooooo what??? “Partially together” I laughed in my head. I went about my business, and few minutes later I saw him walking out. I was glad seeing as I was going to be spending at least 20-30 minutes inside the bank. Guess who I saw immediately I stepped out of the bank! Sigh!

He walked with me and started his yarn. “Like I said my name is Dr. XXXX, I work with something medical center (I was too tired to pay attention); I am hoping to start my residency here. What’s your name?” I told him and he continued. (P.S: This time some months ago, I wouldn’t have been so nice, I would have just told him to keep moving instead of wasting his precious time and mine. I have decided to be nicer). “You see, it’s all about interest here, I’m very interesting” he paused (holding the laugh that was to follow took God’s grace sha). I said nothing, then he continued There’s no need beating around the bush here, I want to be very blunt…. (Insert short pause)….. I want you as my woman I turned to him in shock and laughed mehnnnn I just couldn’t hold it anymore. The laugh didn’t stop him o, he continued by telling me everything about his education, youth service, where he was from (even his local government) and parents all in about four minutes. While he was talking I was busy beating myself up inside for not parking closer to the bank. He asked where I was from, I answered and then the manifesto proper began. You see, you are a very wonderful, beautiful and kind woman (he saw me roughly about 30 minutes ago and I had spoken roughly about 20 words to him and he could already deduce this) and I promise to respect you because that’s one thing a woman deserves” he paused again to gather thoughts I presume. Then he continued “I promise to stand by your side and provide for you, I don’t know what your quest is in life, because I know we all have different quests but…..” just before he could complete his statement I muttered “Thank God” I finally found my car. I stood waiting for him to round-up while counting to ten in my mind. He finally started his closing speech “Well, in conclusion, I am single and I really want to settle down and seeing you I believe my quest is over. Like I said I don’t know your quest in life but you are a wonderful woman and all these are the things I have to offer. I may not know how yet but I know you won’t regret being my woman.” I heaved a very big sigh of relief when I realized his speech was finally over, I didn’t want to break my “niceness vow” after two months nahhh. At this point all that was going through my head was; “uncle you would have made a very good politician o”. He asked for a pen to write down my number because his phone was off; and I thought “Ame, this would be the perfect time to sha give a wrong number”. Well, I gave the correct number, I am that nice.

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While I sat in my car trying to recover, my thoughts wandered off to how Dr. XXXX was so similar to many of our Nigerian politicians. Promises from every corner of their mouths, if their noses could make promises I’m sure we would get promises from there too, but how they intend to fulfill these promises, we never get to hear that part. They run problem based campaigns, like we don’t know what the problems are. What we need are “solution based” campaigns! We already know the problems. We know corruption has eaten deep into the fabrics of the nation, we know power isn’t constant, we know security is paramount; but how do you intend to tackle these ‘pressing’ problems? That’s what I’m interested in.

Now!!!! Valentine’s Day is just a few hours away and here on my thoughts to screen blog, we’ll be giving out some love in our own little way. There’ll be a mini give away here tomorrow. But!!! Only those who follow the blog by email or have joined the blog’s BBM channel or liked our facebook page can partake. The link will only be posted on the blog’s BBM channel and facebook page. In addition, we’ll be recognizing someone very dear to this blog; he has the highest number of comments so far!!!

WATCH THIS SPACE!!!!

THE CHANNEL PIN HASN’T CHANGED C003F4144, YOU CAN FOLLOW THE BLOG DIRECTLY BY CLICKING THE FOLLOW BUTTON ON THE LEFT HAND SIDE OF YOUR SCREEN AND LIKE OUR FACEBOOK PAGE.

UNTIL TOMORROW….. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!

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